The Big Ideas:

• Research shows that telling intergenerational narratives boosts mental health.

• Learning about your ancestors’ struggles builds resilience and shapes your identity.

• There’s no time like the present: Three questions to ask this December.

I remember so many holiday meals sitting at the table, listening to my dad tell the same story about shivering all night in a leaky tent during a rainstorm in Army basic training. My sister and I would catch each other’s eyes and roll them dramatically. But I know now what I didn’t know then: telling and listening to family stories isn’t just annoying and repetitive. It’s good for you! Research shows that children who know more about their intergenerational family history tend to have higher self-esteem, better emotional resilience, and a stronger sense of control over their lives.

After hearing Emory University psychology professor Robyn Fivush discuss her research on The Hidden Brain podcast episode “The Power of Family Stories,” something I’d always felt intuitively made scientific sense. Intergenerational narratives, she explains, serve as anchors for identity, resilience, and a sense of belonging.

My dad’s memories are now my memories. My kids know the stories now, too. Fivush calls them “vicarious memories”—experiences that happened to someone else but become part of our own emotional toolkit. These anecdotes become become a roadmap that reminds you where you came from and shows how you how to handle hardship and adversity.

As you gather with your family in December, bring your stories! Get curious! Ask questions! This is valuable not for some distant future, but for the storyteller and the listener — right now. Get grounded in your backstory and allow it to propel you forward.

With gratitude,
Nora